Money, kids, housing and other practical issues need attention especially during separation.
flows forth from the superabundance of merits of Christ (alone), rests on His mediation (to the Father), depends entirely on it, and draws all its power from it. Marriage sometimes becomes a person’s entire identity or their security.
(Lumen Gentium) CCC 970 People are made to bond with each other at various appropriate levels. People cry when their parents die, their best friend moves away, or their co-worker is transferred. Marriage is meant to be the highest level of union between people, uniting husband and wife into “one flesh”. It’s two unique individuals who form an intimate, deeply personal communion that mirrors the loving union of the Persons in the Trinity: they remain separate, but in a sense they also ‘disappear’ into each other at the same time. They merge, meld, and give themselves totally to one another. From that union should come great security, love, peace, and joy. When it’s lost, panic arises, and a person may often fight or flounder to grab hold of a quick substitute. CCC 1607 You may look at others who seem to heal more quickly, or even your ex-spouse who seems to have moved on. Each person is unique and unrepeatable; the way each experiences divorce will be just as unique.
But a new relationship, a spending blitz, or a half-gallon of Haagen Dazs will only hurt you more in the long run. Check to see if there is a “Catholic Divorce Survival Guide” program available in your area. Maybe later you can facilitate a group in your parish.
We offer healthy ideas to help you through this tough time: slowing down; getting lots of rest, unloading your overscheduled calendar for a while, taking walks, or listening to beautiful music. Only the spiritual Truth will bring you the deepest healing. Call your best friend or family member who has an open heart, a listening ear, and who’s walking closely with Our Lord.
Many therapists offer internet or telephone support. Do-it-yourself saves money on car washes, but might be stupid when it comes to healing from divorce. While in an overarching way He is completely “in control”, He also let go (in a sense) of that control so we could have free will. Because from that greatest evil came the greatest GOOD . Real love does not keep a child “safely” locked away from all pain. “God willed that mans should be ‘left in the hand of his own counsel,’ so that he might of his own accord seek his Creator and freely attain his full and blessed perfection by cleaving to him.” CCC 1730You’re not alone, we all struggle with forgiveness!
God does not WILL evil, but he PERMITS it, to safeguard the gift of our free will. But God also promises from the hurtful things that happen to bring forth a GREATER GOOD. Real love stands by faithfully, helping the child to grow from it. But when you learn more about this complex topic, and if you let God’s grace work in you, you’ll get there.
They believe their marriage has taken care of all that. Our materials invite you to take deep breath, step back, and allow God to show you His love, mercy, promises and His vision for your life.
So, when divorce hits, these past issues and future hopes are also brought to the surface like raw nerves. One that is filled with great hope even within the pain, and rich in a love that never fails. 2 Cor 4:8-9 Catechism: The desire for God is written in the human heart, because man is created by God and for God; and God never ceases to draw man to himself.
Traditionally men view the introduction of children to be a big step.
When you have talked about exclusivity and are both sure you share the same vision for the future of your relationship, then you can introduce the kids.
When you are willing to begin to put Him at the center of your heart, He will heal you from the inside out. Bible: Gen Catechism: …the first sin had for its first consequence the rupture of the original communion between man and woman. They also bring huge hopes and dreams for the future. As they say, “life sucks and then you die.” The healing of divorce thus requires your willingness to eventually to why you were born in the first place, why God made you, and where you are headed for eternity.